Forevermore
I slammed back from the time warp, violently; with such
force that I felt as though I had been slugged in the stomach but it was more
than that, it was bigger, encompassing my entire body. This was violence that I
had never experienced in my life. It felt as if every bone in my body was
vibrating. I couldn’t breathe and in desperation; fighting to inhale, I
wrenched to a sitting position and grabbed my middle as I fought to draw air
into my lungs.
The room seemed to be wobbling on its axis, gyrating and
looping crazily in and out of focus. A high whine like a teapot left on a hot
burner past the point of boiling shrieked in my ears and I lifted my hands to
cover them but the sound was coming from inside my head. My body was desperate
for air and I began to panic as the moments stretched out and still I couldn’t
draw a breath.
My diaphragm was spasming and it felt like those times when
I had hurt myself as a little girl. I had vivid memories of times when I’d had
the breath knocked out of me. I could recall a strong wind catching a screen
door and the end of my finger being smashed, split like a grape. I could recall
once cracking my head on the hard tile floor of the basement and at those times
I remember my mom rushing to me, saying frantically, “Breathe, Torie! Breathe!”
and finally the sobs would come and my panicked mom would sigh with relief and
take me in her arms to comfort me.
Now,
as I rocked onto my knees and crawled mindlessly to the end of my bed, I
face-planted into the cool bedding bunched at the foot. Terror, pure terror as
my ears screamed with the high pitched ringing and spots before my eyes
flashed, signaling approaching unconsciousness.
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