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The light thrown by
a single candle at the bedside stand cast shadows upon the timbers above
Stephen, where he lay on his pallet staring up at them, his head resting upon
his folded arms, his mind filled with Desiree. Perhaps he had made a fatal mistake
last evening, he thought dejectedly, missing an opportunity to ease the ache in
his loins for no purpose but to trap himself within his words. Once he had
unknowingly given up all of Desiree for the want of her form beneath his own, and
now he had given up that one attainable aspect
for the want of more and again he was the loser.
He had not realized
she would still be so vehement toward him but it appeared her hatred had grown
to include an irrational fear and kind of hopeless resignation that she had no
choice where he was concerned. Well, he had done and said all that he could, he
could do no more.
His eyes were drawn to the door where a slight creak of the hinges announced an entry. Desiree moved within and closed the door behind her. She leaned against it watching him silently for a time, then slowly moved across the room to stand next to the bed. He did not make a move, fearing she might flee. He waited on her to proceed.
His eyes were drawn to the door where a slight creak of the hinges announced an entry. Desiree moved within and closed the door behind her. She leaned against it watching him silently for a time, then slowly moved across the room to stand next to the bed. He did not make a move, fearing she might flee. He waited on her to proceed.
Desiree nervously
ran a hand through her hair which lie upon her shoulder then breathed deeply
and knelt beside the bed, resting her arms before her and plucking
self-consciously at the sleeve of her dress. Tears well up before she even
could begin to speak but she made no attempt to hide them.
Stephen turned to
lie upon his side facing her, his head propped up upon one hand, while taking
care that his sheet remained carefully draped across his waist. He waited for
her to speak, leery of opening his mouth and saying something which might spoil
this chance for a civil discussion. Desiree wiped at her tears and with a shake
of her head stood again. He was afraid she was about to flee and his hand shot
out, taking one of hers lightly in his own. Her eyes probed his and he could
see she was in utter turmoil.
“Please talk to me,
Desiree.”
“I—I am afraid,” she
said softly, taking a trembling breath while drawing her hand from his.
“You have nothing to
fear from me. Talk,” he urged gently, patting the bed beside him invitingly and
coming to a sitting position, leaning back against a pillow to wait. After a
few moments hesitation, Desiree took the proffered seat facing him and tucked
one leg up beneath her.
“I want to ask you
something Stephen and I want the truth from you,” she began, controlling her
voice and wiping the tears from her eyes with the hem of her dress. “You spoke
last night of what we had shared before and your desire to share that again.
The talks, spending time together. Would you be content then if I once more
welcomed your company and leave it at that?” She watched his face carefully for
any hint of his anger but detected none.
“Honesty, truthfulness
you want, correct?” he asked with a soft smile.
Desiree nodded.
“And if I answer
such will you also answer my questions the same without flying into a rage?” he
frowned slightly, wiping a lingering tear from her cheek with his fingertips.
Desiree nodded once more.
“No, Desiree. I
would not be content to leave it at that. I want you and could not honestly
agree to anything less for I would not be able to stand by it.”
“So you leave me
with no choice but to sever our relationship completely,” she stated matter-of-factly.
“Then it shall be so,” she shrugged her shoulders dejectedly, starting to rise
from the bed but Stephen touched her arm, halting her.
“Is that the end of
it then, without a touch of feeling? Just cast me aside as though deciding
against buying a new hat? This is much too important, at least to me, to let it
end with one simple question and answer. Now it is my turn—remember,
truthfully,” he paused, then asked softly. “Do you want me?”
Desiree felt the
color come up in her cheeks at the bluntness of his question. She could not
meet his gaze.
“Desiree, answer me,”
he coaxed, lifting his hand to gently touch her chin and turn her face so he
could look into her eyes.
“I…please. Let’s
just end this entire conversation. I should not have come.” she breathed
nervously, attempting again to rise but again being halted by Stephen.
Ever so gently, he reached out with both hands cupping her face. His mouth brushed hers in a gentle kiss, a second kiss clung and slightly parted her lips, and finally he kissed her deeply.
Desiree felt as if she would die from the sheer bliss of it. She responded to him, tilting her head slightly, forming to his mouth. It was as though she was in one of her dreams but this searing warmth was real. He pulled back and she sat stunned by the loss of his touch.
Ever so gently, he reached out with both hands cupping her face. His mouth brushed hers in a gentle kiss, a second kiss clung and slightly parted her lips, and finally he kissed her deeply.
Desiree felt as if she would die from the sheer bliss of it. She responded to him, tilting her head slightly, forming to his mouth. It was as though she was in one of her dreams but this searing warmth was real. He pulled back and she sat stunned by the loss of his touch.
“You want me,” he
confirmed. “So what is this about? Why the fear, your aversion toward me? Why
the lack of interest you profess?” he asked, fixing her with a level stare.
“Stephen, you want
the truth, you shall have it. Making love is for a marriage bed, at least in my
part of the world,” she blurted, wishing at once that she could take the words
back. It sounded like a proposal or an ultimatum and she had not intended that.
“So if I were to ask
for your hand in marriage, then it would be acceptable?” he asked seriously. “I
will.”
“No! Please do not
jest at my expense, Stephen. I am so confused—I—I am making a fool of myself!” she
said softly, looking to her hands in her lap. “I did not mean to insinuate
such—I–I am leaving. This is getting us nowhere!” she stammered.
Stephen prevented
her from rising once more as he spoke. “I am not jesting by any means. I will
do whatever I must to gain your trust again. I would marry you this minute if
it would bring you back into my life.” He lifted and kissed her hand lightly,
while his eyes probed hers. “But dearest Desiree, I do not believe marriage is
any assurance of an undying devotion and I don’t feel it should be used to
barter with, but if that is what you require, would you then believe I mean you
no harm?”
His words struck
like lightning. She was trying to force him into something for passion’s sake, which
in her opinion should be entered into for one reason only—love. How often had she heard the girls at school speaking of using
this very tactic to force a man’s will and bring him to the altar? She was
amazed that he was willing to do such but she knew she would not hold him by
those means.
“To possess me you
would go to such an extreme? When you might find the same in any number of
women throughout the world?” she asked, her voice echoing her amazement.
“Your innocence is
showing, my sweet, for what you have to offer me I would find nowhere else,
even if I searched a lifetime.”
“Are you saying you
love me then?” she ventured and was surprised when he looked away, all at once
flustered. “You didn’t answer me!” she prodded, smiling with amusement and
enjoying his unrest.
He squirmed under
her regard, looking about the room uncomfortably, then growled, “That does it,
I’m leaving! You are tormenting me!” When he made as if to rise from the bed,
Desiree laughed brightly and he settled back once more, watching her
thoughtfully. “Do you know how long it has been since I have heard your
laughter?”
“Quite some time,” she
sighed softly. She realized then how much she had missed him, his easy charm
and silly playfulness. She further realized that she, indeed, wanted him under
any circumstances and she would no longer deny it.
He pulled her gently
to him, kissing her long and sound. “Stay with me tonight, Desiree,” he
whispered. “Stay.” His lips brushed hers as he spoke and his voice was not
pleading, simply asking.
Desiree stood and
slowly began to unbutton her clothes but Stephen rose to stand before her,
moving her hands aside. He kissed her gently, while with nimble fingers he
unbuttoned her dress, slipping his hands within and the fabric moved off her
shoulders, sliding from her arms and dropping to the floor. His lips caressed
her shoulder, where his thumb moved the strap of her chemise and he unlaced the
satin ribbon at the valley between her breasts and the garment slipped to join
the gown.
He lifted her
effortlessly and laid her across the bed, lowering himself beside her. His lips
tested hers, while his hand savored her skin, moving from her throat down to
her flat stomach and then his kisses ceased and his eyes rose slowly to meet
hers. He rested his hand along her narrow waist while his expression was warm
and tender. “You will not rush out hating me after?” he pleaded in a husky
voice.
Desiree smiled and
touched his muscular shoulder. “I fear I must be insane but no, I will not rush
out. I am going to trust in you, Captain Colter and believe in you and pray
that I do not regret that decision.”
He enfolded her in his arms, pulling her close as his lips savored hers once more. His whisper was barely audible, a commitment spoken between fevered kisses. “You can trust me.”
He enfolded her in his arms, pulling her close as his lips savored hers once more. His whisper was barely audible, a commitment spoken between fevered kisses. “You can trust me.”
And he took her with
the utmost of care, binding her to him once more with tender, giving passion.
They were alone in the world and nothing mattered but this moment.
